The Martyr Attitude!

God's gift to us is... happiness. Ecclesiastes 3:13 CEV

People with a 'martyr attitude' do things out of a sense of duty, not joy. They feel guilty about enjoying life. They tend to begrudge happiness to those around them. They resent it when others don't do things for them, yet they won't ask for help in case they create a sense of obligation. The fact is, 'martyrs' don't value themselves so they think nobody else does. That's not how God wants you to live. The Bible says there's a time to work… to play… to laugh, and enjoy life, because "God's gift to us is… happiness" (Ecclesiastes 3:13 CEV). Jesus said, "I came to give life… in all its fullness" (John 10:10 NCV). You need fun and relaxation. They're not unspiritual! Without them you become unbalanced and you open yourself to stress-related illness, mood swings and compulsive behaviours. You find yourself constantly vulnerable, driven and unable to relax.

Refuse to take on a false sense of responsibility. Don't neglect or deny your own legitimate needs. Yes, you're called to help others, but it's not wrong to do things for yourself, to receive from God, and those He sends to bless you. If somebody compliments you, accept it graciously. If they attempt to belittle you, ignore it and move on.

One counselor writes: "When you find yourself trying to prove how much you've been hurt, or trying to 'top' someone else's pain, stop and figure out what's going on. The reward is learning to stop the pain and move into joy, peace and fulfillment." David said, "In Your presence is fullness of joy" (Psalm 16:11 AMP).

So begin to spend more time with God.
You only get to make the journey once, so enjoy it and make it count.

Some Facts about Fruit

One of my fondest memories of growing up is my father’s garden. It seemed my dad grew everything in his garden. In fact, he always grew enough to feed the entire neighborhood. Whenever people would stop by our home for a visit, they’d usually leave with a sack full of fresh vegetables and luscious fruit.
The kind of fruit my father grew is just one kind of fruit – natural fruit. There is also biological fruit, the offspring of animals and the children of people.

Then there is spiritual fruit, and that’s what God is talking about in Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (NIV)

The question is: How do we develop these character qualities? Obviously, God doesn’t just zap us one day and suddenly these qualities materialize in our lives. He uses a process that involves a partnership with us and also the time to grow.

It requires partnership – The Apostle Paul describes this partnership in Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV), where he says “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,” but then he also says, “for it is God who works in you ….”

It’s important to note that Paul doesn’t say, “Work for your salvation.” The Bible clearly teaches we don’t have to work for our salvation. It is a free gift of God’s grace.
In a sense, Paul is talking about a spiritual work out, just like when you physically work out to develop or tone muscles. We’re to make the most of what we’ve been given. God provides the power for our spiritual growth, but we must flip the switch.

It requires time – It takes time for fruit to ripen, and in the same way, there’s no such thing as instant spiritual maturity. When you try to rush fruit, it doesn’t taste as good. If you’ve ever eaten tomatoes that have been artificially ripened to speed up the process, then you know there’s no comparing them to the wonderful taste of naturally, vine-ripened tomatoes. It takes time for fruit to ripen, and it takes time for spiritual fruit to ripen in your life.
You can begin by telling God right now that you want to be a productive, fruitful disciple, one who cooperates with his plan.

Ask God to use his Word to change the way you think. Invite the Holy Spirit to have free rein in your life. Don’t hold anything back. Ask God to help you respond to difficult people and unpleasant situations just as Jesus would. God wants to produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life, so get into partnership with God on your spiritual growth and watch what develops over time.


by Rick Warren

So We Light Candles

Anger. It's a peculiar yet predictable emotion. It begins as a drop of water. An irritant. A frustration. Nothing big, just an aggravation. Someone gets your parking place. Someone pulls in front of you on the freeway. A waitress is slow and you are in a hurry. The toast burns. Drops of water. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Yet, get enough of these seemingly innocent drops of anger and before long you've got a bucket full of rage. Walking revenge. Blind bitterness. Unharnessed hatred. We trust no one and bare our teeth at anyone who gets near. We become walking time bombs that, given just the right tension and fear, could explode.

Yet, what do we do? We can't deny that our anger exists. How do we harness it? A good option is found in Luke 23:34. Here, Jesus speaks about the mob that killed him. "'Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'"

Look carefully. It's as if Jesus considered this bloodthirsty, death-hungry crowd not as murderers, but as victims. It's as if he saw in their faces not hatred but confusion. It's as if he regarded them not as a militant mob but, as he put it, as "sheep without a shepherd."

"They don't know what they are doing."

And when you think about it, they didn't. They hadn't the faintest idea what they were doing. They were a stir-crazy mob, mad at something they couldn't see so they took it out on, of all people, God. But they didn't know what they were doing.

And for the most part, neither do we. We are still, as much as we hate to admit it, shepherdless sheep. All we know is that we were born out of one eternity and are frighteningly close to another. We play tag with the fuzzy realities of death and pain. We can't answer our own questions about love and hurt. We can't solve the riddle of aging. We don't know how to heal our own bodies or get along with our own mates. We can't keep ourselves out of war. We can't even keep ourselves fed.

Paul spoke for humanity when he confessed, "I do not know what I am doing." (Romans 7:15, author's paraphrase.)

Now, I know that doesn't justify anything. That doesn't justify hit-and-run drivers or kiddie-porn peddlers or heroin dealers. But it does help explain why they do the miserable things they do.

My point is this: Uncontrolled anger won't better our world,
but sympathetic understanding will.
Once we see the world and ourselves for what we are, we can help.
Once we understand ourselves we begin to operate not from a posture of anger but of compassion and concern.
We look at the world not with bitter frowns but with extended hands.
We realize that the lights are out and a lot of people are stumbling in the darkness.
So we light candles.


From No Wonder They Call Him the Savior, © (W Publishing Group, 1986, 2004) Max Lucado

Saturated in Love

Where God's love is there is no fear, because God's perfect love drives out fear. 1 John 4:15

We fear rejection, so we follow the crowd.
We fear no fitting in, so we take the drugs.
For fear of standing out, we wear what everyone else wears.
For fear of blending in, we wear what no one else wears.
For fear of sleeping alone, we sleep with anyone.
For fear of not being loved, we search for love in all the wrong places.

But God flushes those fears.
Those saturated in God's love don't sell out to win the love of others.
They don't even sell out to win the love of God.

Do you think you need to? Do you think, If I cuss less, pray more, drink less, study more... if I try harder, God will love me more? Sniff and smell Satan's stench behind those words.

We all need improvement, but we don't need to wood God's love.
We change because we already have God's love.
God's perfect love.


Originally printed in Come Thirsty by Max Lucado

Thump-Thud, Thump-Thud

When a potter bakes a pot, he checks its solidity by pulling it out of the oven and thumping it. If it “sings,” it’s ready. If it “thuds,” it’s placed back in the oven.

The character of a person is also checked by thumping.

Been thumped lately?

Late-night phone calls. Grouchy teacher. Grumpy moms. Burnt meals. Flat tires. You’ve-got-to-be-kidding deadlines. Those are thumps. Thumps are those irritating inconveniences that trigger the worst in us. They catch us off guard. Flat-footed. They aren’t big enough to be crises, but if you get enough of them, watch out! Traffic jams. Long lines. Empty mailboxes. Dirty clothes on the floor. Even as I write this, I’m being thumped. Because of interruptions, it has taken me almost two hours to write these two paragraphs. Thump. Thump. Thump.

How do I respond? Do I sing, or do I thud?

Jesus said that out of the nature of the heart a man speaks (Luke 6:45). There’s nothing like a good thump to reveal the nature of a heart. The true character of a person is seen not in momentary heroics but in the thump-packed humdrum of day-to-day living.

If you have a tendency to thud more than you sing, take heart.

There is hope for us “thudders”:

Begin by thanking God for thumps. I don’t mean a half-hearted thank-you. I mean a rejoicing, jumping-for-joy thank-you from the bottom of your heart (James 1:2). Chances are that God is doing the thumping. And he’s doing it for your own good. So every thump is a reminder that God is molding you (Hebrews 12:5-8).

Learn from each thump. Face up to the fact that you are not “thump-proof.” You are going to be tested from now on. You might as well learn from the thumps—you can’t avoid them. Look upon each inconvenience as an opportunity to develop patience and persistence. Each thump will help you or hurt you, depending on how you use it.

Be aware of “thump-slump” times. Know your pressure periods. For me, Mondays are infamous for causing thump-slumps. Fridays can be just as bad. For all of us, there are times during the week when we can anticipate an unusual amount of thumping. The best way to handle thump-slump times? Head on. Bolster yourself with extra prayer, and don’t give up.

Remember no thump is disastrous. All thumps work for good if we are loving and obeying God.

From On the Anvil:
Stories On Being Shaped Into God’s Image

This is a new edition of Max’s first book.
It contains an updated forward, written by him, as well as thoughtful questions for each chapter.

© (Tyndale House, 1985, 2008) Max Lucado